brown bear brown bear what do you see.

today as i was eating dinner nom nom nom my mother was watching survivor man, to which man vs. wild is far superior in my opinion but im supposing her usual infernal two and a half men or nails on a chalkboardesque cash cab were not on but anyways as he whoever he was (survivorman mm hmm) was meandering through the sahara, or whatever desert it may have been, eating grubs and setting fires (to warm the ground on the area he would be sleeping, obvs) i was reminded of the time at the oley turnpike dairy in which me, aforementioned mother, and presumably the little brother and seester witnessed an emu kicking a lamb, who had somehow found its way into the emu enclosure, to death. shit was brutal, in every sense of the word. one wonders what effect this had on us, as my sister is a would be dog murderess.

i'm sorry, but french onion poop is the funniest thing ive thought of in a while. fo realzzz!

currently crocheting a weed pipe cozy, cause thanks be to god it was not injured yet! four rows of lime green, then two rows of blue/white/purple/lime green vareigrated yarn. had to take a break from blanket making when i reverted to my old ways and inadvertently created an inadvertent triangle, which, as heather pointed out, though useless, is very aztec-y looking. ill post picturezzz when im done yayzzz.

we are the sons of no one.

beneath a blue umbrella.

conversation the other day and when i say the other day i mean that actually, it was yesterday, about the other party not understanding that i got tattoos pertaining to musicians. specifically, elliott smith, and a silver mt. zion. not portrait tattoos or anything else so terrible i dont mean to disgrace anyones memory but elliott smith i wouldnt want him looking up at me for the rest of my life nah mean? not even terribly specific to the artists mentioned. but fault was not found in my ginsberg tattoo. i guess i understand the silver mt. zion one being possibly precarious as they could start releasing utter shit unlikely but nevertheless but i mean, pending some tupac-esque revival or unless they were found to have like, killed jon benet ramsey or something, its not as if smith or ginsberg are going to have ever created anything less than perfect. i feel.

obsessed with eels lately. makes me want to watch jarhead. most military movies are terrible i get that but i dont think that movie flim ever got its fair shake.

when i said eels above i meant mark oliver everett the musician but eels like ocean eels are pretty awesome too and obvs i mean if you know me you know maritime as a whole is a pretty huge part of all of my days. its like im an old clipper ship captain, im married to the sea. yes, but ive been out to sea a long time. max fischer said that once.

i know annetha has the same "issue" i say issue but its hardly an issue for me just for those on the outside, i.e. not me, but with relating anything and everything and any thing to a pop culture reference. like, a day does not go by without a sister patterson quote. nay, a day is NOT a day without a sister patterson quote. my audition for her traveling teetotaling band is pending btw.

peter peter pumpkin eater.

file this one under "a new low": cocoa bean mugatu now has a facebook.

that is all.

the mountains of tibet.

every parent should utilise those terrible, terrible "trick" candles....you know, those which when one blows on them, they initially appear extinguished, only to relight? they are probably necessary for every childs' birthday from every birthday since the....birth day. few things in this world highlight as much as aforementioned candles the lack of permanence of everything in this weird life, and how ineffectual each of us really are. valuable lessons, methinks.

the giving tree.

my toof necklace!! the picture does not EVEN do it justice shits awesome and makes me feel like a mofuckin voodoo priestess despite my conspicuous lack of melanin. i wrapped wire around the tooth, which is some sick ass deep sea under water weird twisty type toof, put it on a loop, then put a chain on the bitch. still need a toof hookup def need to make some rattly ass charm bracelet with like forty odd teeth hanging off of it. dad has some deer skulls out in the garage ill just take my pliers out one day i spose.

also: scarf thingie that i made. i figured out how to not just make triangles, heather! yayyyy!! anyways shitty picture obvs but its tan and white patterned yarn with a blue/brown/white striped yarn border around the top edge and the down the diagonal side, at which point it is stitched together. so it should keep my neck warm but also if i have another bout of hatchetface-ism then it will also function in that capacity.

speaking of hatchetface......wtfuck whoever votes for the oscars!?! no love for mr. rourke? shits fucked, man, i mean the guy just lost his chihuahua!! RIP loki.

and i am guilty of the same so i know this is some truth telling im about to do but if you say you hate 'hey there delilah' then you are a lying liar. lying liar pants on fire!

oh the places you'll go.

mixed reactions to my tooth necklace so far. some say its a new low, some think it is wonderful. all i think is that i need more teeth pulled. i probz only really need the front four for my continued survival, you know?

more upsetting than this though, or the surgery as a whole, is the fact that at the spray tan party my mommy let anne go in twice and me only go in once.

vicodin? i still don't enjoy it. just feels like im swallowing money that could be in my pocket every time i take one. you want some vicodin?

BUY YOUR OWN, WHITE BOY!

at heathers babysitting. HOLLA!! how does hayley feel under my ass? HAHAHA SHES ALREADY IN BED!!! in the absence of being allowed to drink alcohol, at the risk of dry sockets, painkiller overdose, blah blah blah blah blah, i've brought some knitting to do. hardly seems like a fair trade.

everybody poops

this shit? fuckin blows. mouth hurts like a motherbitch and i was so very excited about my little vicodins but ive puked up every one ive taken so far. blood is constantly dripping down my throat and im not allowed to spit and if mr. chuck palahniuk is to be believed....what is it.......a pint of blood before one gets sick? something like that. never really popped much of a boner over fight club the novel and certainly CERTAINLY pop no boner over fight club the movie flim. but yeah anyways this shit is fuckin clown shoes, man. mouf is still numbish so im guessing the worst is still yet to come! oh joy.

went to pull out my cell phone in the surgeons office to check me messages THANKS YALL HOLLA and pulled out my weed pipe instead. approximately the same size and shape mm hmm but very different uses indeed. oopsie poopsie! as if dad doesnt know my lifestyle but nevertheless.