falling up.

sometimes there is not a doubt in my mind that you are all i have ever needed.

questions i got at work the other day:

Q)What is the average size penis?

A) According to AskMen.com, the average penis is 3.43 inches when flaccid, and 5.8 inches when erect.

i get that question at least once, but usually much more per shift. also, who has the world's largest penis? It's jonah falcon, i believe, at, 13.5 inches. I was once asked if, laid end to end, how many of poor mr. falcons (seems it would be both a gift and a curse, really) would it take to a) reach the moon, and b) circumference the earth. i remember neither of the exact figures, but trust that they were staggering.......even mind-boggling.

Q)Whats that movie, with that guy, that was in that other movie...with that dog?

A)There are many films with men and dogs, from last year's hit Marley & Me to classics like Sounder, and Old Yeller.

like, damn son, really? i hope you was being a smartass with that question.

Q)Why does sparkle drink so much?

A) Sparkle may drink too much alcohol in order to feel drunk or escape the problems he/she is having.

i assumed that they meant alcohol cause upon first glance i of course assumed that sparkle was a person, maybe a stripper or a drag queen of some stripe, what with the name sparkle. or maybe i was projecting. i suppose it, it meaning sparkle, of course, may have been a cat or a gerbil, or some such shit, too, i guess. in which case not drinking enough would be symptomatic of renal failure, or simple dehydration.

in keeping with the cat motif....

Q)Can u get high from inhaling cat urine?

A) Although cat urine has a foul odor and has been rumored to give off a high, there is no scientific answer as to whether it really does or not.

its kinda like ewwy why would ya wanna but hey man its like me and anne have always said we take res hits cause we need to not cause we want to...same kind of thing i guess or perhaps im just rationalizing on this poor blokes behalf.

Q) What is a penis?

A)The penis is the external male sex organ which contains the urinary tract & is used for reproduction.

File this one under "if you have to ask...". and, yes, our clientele is really, truly, this penis-centric. between this and horoscopes, goddamn if i have time for anything else. been workin three weeks, and only TWO shark questions! only TWO! and that was specified as one of my areas of expertise!


Q) my ex, its hard for us to communicate now that its over
A) When communicating with an ex, it is important not to bring up old issues, and to be empathetic. More?
Q) ya i would try to talk to him, but everyone thinks i hate him, because after hmy badly he hurt me i should. but i guess i am deeply in love with him too.
but i dunno. its hard to talk to him about it. he avoids situations like that sometimes. well certain ones. Well, we are not even cloud to be together. my mom doesnt trust him.
A) If you really do want him back and you both are ready, have a serious talk; talking with your mom might also help her trust you and him.
Q)O ok. so i really miss my ex, and something tells me that he is in love with me, but he has had a reputation as a player for a long time so its hard for
him to go back to me. at least thats what i think and observe. i work with him and see him and school. he already has a new girl but everytime he sees me
A)Try communicating with your ex-boyfriend by phone or email & ask him if he still has feelings for you.
Q)even when he is with her, he walks with me and hugs me. what do you think?
A)Maybe talk to him in private about what you feel for him and about his actions toward you. Good luck!

they more mixed up than a milkshake. also, that was both physically and mentally exhausting for me. more than i could ever ever express in one blog post. ever.

and i try to leave but you know me i come back when you want me to.